Classroom in the Time of PANDAmic!

  Asmi Gupto |     July 1, 2021

We all like pandas, don’t we? Those cute furry little creatures with big shiny eyes who do nothing all day but roll on the grass and munch on bamboos!

But unfortunately, pandas live mainly in temperate forests, high in the mountains of southwest China, or in the zoos in which your parents will never take you because they’re six hours away from your house. I mean, why go to the zoo when you can solve 15 math problems from RD Sharma in those six hours and actually be ‘productive’ in that time!?

However, you need not worry! Because online classes have come to your rescue!

Are online classes going to show you live pandas?! No! Even better, they’re going to turn you into one! Sounds fun, right? But guess what? It’s not.

For example, I’m Asmi, a 10th grader. The 10th class, as all of you might know, is the easiest grade in your whole school life. There’s no pressure at all! We’re all absolutely stress-free all the time with no mental pressure. It can even be seen on our faces.

Like I, have huge dark circles due to an improper sleep schedule, and a hunched neck because I don’t need to stay all day on my chair, attending the classes and doing 14537 assignments. I never had that loads of unnecessary fat, and I never wanted to roll on my bed and eat because I can’t possibly get tired after my school routine, can I? And I kind of got the fur too because who hasn’t in the lockdown?!

You see, that’s what online classes have done! They’ve turned students into pandas, and all this really don’t make me feel like mixing naphthalene balls in my Hindi teacher’s morning tea! Talking about teachers—it’s not just us students undergoing a transformation, it’s the teachers too! Because seriously, what can be better and more fun than carrying your own child in one hand, feeding her from the other, and ranting the same boring chapter to four different classes over and over again until one dumb student plays a vulgar song in your class for the sake of his own entertainment?!

Of course, the pandemic is not enough. What is life if you didn’t get tortured mentally for a whole year, isn’t it? But on the plus side, studies will become much more interesting! I mean, who wouldn’t like a chubby, yawning panda teaching what will happen if we dip an iron nail in a copper sulphate solution? I wonder, how my teacher would get to know that I’ve been dipping iron nails in copper sulphate my whole life and have been trying to find out what happens if I do so! Because let’s accept this—copper sulphate and zinc granules are as readily accessible as getting a packet of chips from any general store.

But seriously, I strongly believe that online classes have tremendously changed the direction of evolution of mankind. From apes to humans to pandas! I can’t stop but imagine how immensely adorable my next generation will be, doing everything lethargically and in no hurry, taking their own sweet time. Well, who knows if Yuval Noah Harari actually ends up writing a book called the ‘Slow-mo-sapiens’ in the foreseen future!

About the Author

She is a student of class 10th, Bharti Public School, New Delhi.

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